First Date....

So on Friday Night, I went on my first post divorce date.  I had a lot of fun!

It made me realize that my ex is not the only man who is capable of finding me fun and attractive...  I am amazing the way that I am and I can be happy with someone else.  It doesn't necessarily mean this guy but I have come to realize that there are people out there willing to date someone with 5 kids.

Granted, not very many, but there are a few...  :-)

I will continue on the road to recovery and along the way will make new friends.  I am confident.  I am beautiful, amazing, and fun to be around.  I get a second chance at finding someone who loves me for me and not just because I am there.  I know more of what I want this time around and what is most important to me. 

I can have fun.  I don't need to get attached to anyone and I have time.  It's not a race to find a new husband.  If I find one along the way that's a plus but it's not what my goal is right now.  I just want to have fun with some new people and I can.

I will continue to find Me.....

It is a big beautiful world.  Continue to see the good things because focusing on the bad will only make me feel low and unworthy.  I am worth a lot!

I AM SINGLE...

Fact:  I am Single...

This fact became a reality in July of 2015.  I never thought I would ever be a single mom and like so many others I am not prepared for this whole single mom thing.  I think as moms we are hard on ourselves already.  The prospect of being on my own and going from a stay at home mom to a working mom hurts...

Sometimes I feel lost on this new adventure I got thrown on.  I didn't want this.  I didn't want to be alone.  I didn't want to work and leave my kids in the care of other people.  I NEVER wanted to raise my kids mostly on my own.  I wanted them to grow up in a better home than I did.  I didn't want them to be "the product of divorce".  It is a hard way to grow up.  Going from this house to that.   Hearing that the other parent isn't a great one or has flaws...

I have vowed never to tell my kids anything bad about their father.  He really is a great dad.  I just wish he had wanted to stay with me and work out the husband part.  The vows we took out when we got married meant something to me and I thought they did to him as well.

Now I get to start the whole dating scene over again....

I wasn't very good at it in the first place.  I met my ex on a website when internet dating was brand new.  I flew to a new state by myself to meet him in person.  I knew (or thought I did) that he was the man I would be with forever.  We were married for 12 years and starting over doesn't seem that appealing to me.

I am not going to rush into anything though because a man doesn't need to define my happiness.  So this is a blog to put out my frustrations and maybe help some of you who may be going through the same situation. 

So here I go on my new adventure....